I Love You

I’ve had a lot to say today, there was so much anger and frustration, I wanted to scream and cry, I am so tired; but I’m a mom. I’m raising three kids, one of them a white teenage boy close in age to the one in Wisconsin.

I’ve raised children who rescue snakes and jellyfish, who dace with trees and talk to the bees and the crows, step over anthills and cry when things die, when leaves fall, when favored things end. I’ve tried, am still trying to teach them that true strength lies in kindness and compassion, that the world can be changed through kindness. They are not weak; they are not defenseless.

Today I can choose to yell and scream and cry, to argue, cite my sources and rally against the ignorance that surrounds me, or I can be an example of all the things that I tell them.

Anger and hate are easy, being confident in your own perception, in your own correctness, unquestioning, is easy. Confronting yourself, your faults, holding yourself accountable, considering for even a moment that you may be wrong, it takes courage. To meet contempt with compassion requires strength.

Instead of joining in the madness today I will simply say I love you.

When you call me snowflake or libtard or a sheeple, I love you

When you find ways to justify any life taken or ended, I love you

When you are hypocritical and judgmental in the name of your own God, I love you.

Knowing you would condemn myself, at least two of my children and so many friends to hell because of our sexuality or orientation, I still love you

When my heart breaks and my mind is flooded with your hate, when it becomes so overpowering that I want to hate too, I still love you.

I can love you and know you are wrong, I can love you and choose not to talk or engage with you because I know it’s bad for my mental health, I can advocate for all that you oppose and I can still love you. I can love you enough to keep trying to change your mind.

So I won’t join in the arguing, I won’t post mean quotes or questions to provide my side. I will keep trying, at least for today to fight with kindness and compassion, to value even those lives that do not value mine, maybe especially those lives.

You may call me weak or stupid or idealistic, you’ve probably called me worse, it’s ok, I still love you.

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